Sunday Blonde Joke

A guy walked into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.
He put the crocodile up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood
inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his
mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this
spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'

The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers,
and placed his credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the
crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head.
The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals
unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were
delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay
anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back
of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up....
'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the
beer bottle!'

Nice

I always liked that one.

A sheriff in a small town in Texas walked out in the street and saw a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots.
So, he arrested him for indecent exposure.

As he was locking him up, he asked, "Why in the world are you walking around like this?"

The cowboy said, "Well it's like this Sheriff ...
I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asked me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt... So I did.

Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants.... So I did.

Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts....so I did.

Then she got on the bed and looked at me kind of sexy and said, 'Now go to town cowboy.. '

And here I am."

bad just bad
little sad too

Note to self: Hot redheads in Texas have no standards as long as you wear a cowboy hat. Got it.

So there were these three blonds in a library late at night each working on their Masters Thesis...

How many blondes to screw in a lightbulb?

















just one



























but you gotta wait for the world to revolve around her.

A blonde really wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but they cost too much.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?' The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.

Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration...

'Dang it! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!'

blonds, crocs and gaters... nasty combination!

A couple of blondes in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.
One of the girls, Jamie, walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

Jamie said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. She returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"Alright. How long do you need them?"

Jamie paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After awhile, she returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."